Working Mom Guilt

ACI President Erin Krehbiel is a regular contributor to BenefitsPRO. See Krehbiel’s recent article below, originally posted on BenefitsPRO.

As a mother, employee, and boss, I can’t help wondering at what cost I am sacrificing one role for another. The fact that my job is amazing carries its own burden; it’s not that I don’t love being with my children all of the time, but could it be possible that I am a better mom by diversifying my time, achieving things professionally to ultimately provide for a better life? It takes time to feel comfortable enough to set boundaries in personal and professional life—this is not without saying that there are adjustments that need to be made along the way. Small decisions like making time at home with the children fun and productive rather than running through the motions, or managing workload with technology, allow me to be my better self. These five tips have helped me stay sane:

Enlist the Kids:

Get the kids involved in meal planning so they are more willing to help cook, eat and clean up. There are only a few hours on the weekdays to be together and mealtime is an important chunk of that! Curious Chef, available on Amazon, makes safe knives designed for children to participate in prep.

Set Priorities:

Taking time to wrap up the day and set top five priorities before leaving the office has become my go-to tool to leave work at work. This creates a clear set of top priorities for the next day so that I can be focused and effective. This is also helpful to manage home life as well. Apps like Wunderlist, Any.do, and Todoist help keep priorities in order.

Find Zen:

I am better at everything when my mind and body have balance, which means regular physical exercise, healthy food, and sleep. The best method for me is to exercise early in the morning so that I am pumped to start the day and have quality time with my children before school. Running and spinning are excellent stress busters, and people who exercise in the morning are more likely to stick with it! Here are some additional tips for becoming a morning exerciser.

Utilize Technology:

Syncing my personal and work calendars gives me a big picture view of my obligations. It allows me to be cognizant of periods where I have a lot going on in one area and might want to avoid over-scheduling myself or my family. Adding all important dates is key, including reminders to sign up for sports leagues or schedule annual physicals.

Ignore the Haters:

Refuse to buy into the guilt from other parents. I will continue to run onto to the soccer field in a suit to catch the second half or my son’s game. There is an army of working mothers who are available to support each other. There are some excellent tips and a dose of reality in this Forbes article.

Will I ever get over my working mother guilt? Probably not, but I am okay with that because I know that I am pushing myself to be a better mother and employee. If there isn’t room for improvement, what’s the point?