Veteran Connection: Readjusting to Relationships

Changes can challenge a veteran’s reintegration with their family. This may occur following a deployment, or as the service member transitions from active service to a civilian career. The family and veteran may find difficulty in figuring out their place after being gone for some time. The following are suggestions for veterans, spouses and family members to readjust to relationships.

Change is inevitable

As families and as individuals, everyone is always changing, growing and adapting to the circumstances. This is even more noticeable following a major life transition
such as a career change, retirement or significant stressors, such as deployments. An expecting and accepting mindset is helpful for all family members to withstand
and navigate changes.

Communicate

For returning veterans, partners and children may seem like different people, and in many ways they are. Take the time to talk as a family, discuss concerns and articulate needs
and expectations. Acknowledge emotions, including anger and sadness for missed occasions and milestones.

Renegotiate

Family rules and roles may have changed over the course of the service member’s
absence. Many spouses learn to function independently. As single parents they
were responsible for finances, decisions, and child discipline. It is normal for veterans to feel out of place, unneeded and unsure of how they fit back into their families.
Remain flexible and compromise on plans, decisions and routines.

Go slow

It can be tempting to make up for lost time, but moving too fast can increase stress
levels for everyone. Ease into relationships and become reacquainted
with each other.